What is the meaning of Love

It has been a while since I have written anything and I was beginning to think that nothing wonderful would happen for me to post, but my mind kept filling with thoughts on how special this month really is, so I thought I would just write them down.

Of course, Valentines Day is coming up and I am always reminded of my first Valentines with Stewart. We didn’t have any money and he was playing ball for the Y and coming home later in the evening so, I planned a wonderful spaghetti dinner for two with candle light and all...haha. I moved the table that sat in our hallway of a kitchen into the front room and there we sat across the table from one another (it was a 2' deep table and was 4' long...talk about intimate).

He had brought me home some roses...so sweet...wait these smell disgusting...he was so horrified, literally the roses smelled like stinky feet. They must have been moldy or something, poor guy he went to a really nice florist in Provo and they gave him sour roses. I didn’t care though, I was so happy to be sitting with him and felt so much love for him. I will never forget it.

February was also the month that we lost our first baby. She was long awaited and such a miracle to begin with. The pregnancy had been strange from the beginning and we were looking so forward to her arrival. Unfortunately she had been diagnosed with a life threatening disease and she died before I had the chance to give birth to her. We love her and think of her often and are so grateful for her and for the spirit she keeps in our home.

February is the month we brought Ryleigh into the world. She was such a tiny, sweet baby. We knew she would be a fireball as soon as she came. Little miss independent and she has lived up to the name.

Last but not least February was the month we were told we would loose another baby. Christian! I was in the ER at 5 weeks pregnant sure that I was miscarrying our current pregnancy. I was not ready to loose another one and it just so happened that it was the same day I lost our first baby, so many emotions were flooding my mind. We went in for the ultrasound in the ER and saw a very faint heartbeat and sheer joy, love and panic hit me. I knew this was another one of my children and I was not ready to give up the fight. The ER doctor told me to go home and that over the next few days I would miscarry. I was not okay with this answer...I saw a heartbeat! So I called my wonderful doctor (and friend, I love you Lori!) and she put me on immediate bed rest and with the help of so many (thank you to all of you, you will never know how thankful I am for your being in our life.) we now have our son. He is a miracle and I can’t not be grateful for February. So, I have so many wonderful reasons to post and so many blessings that have forever changed our life because of this month. To all my loves, my heart has been strengthened because of your life in mine and my capacity to love has grown because of you. All my love, Traci!