A letter to my Children

This is one of the posts I knew I would write and I knew would be hard to begin, but throughout the month of May my mind always turns to my childhood, my teenage years, my early married life and I often think about the pivotal moments that have molded me to where I am today. I have always wanted to write a letter to my children about the importance of making the most out of each day, something that even still I struggle with, knowing that every moment we choose to pass the day without being grateful for the little things that we will have wasted a precious moment that we can never regain. In saying all of that I need to write today about the day I realized this truth.
To My Sweet Children,
I woke up May 20, 2002 feeling full of happiness feeling like I could conquer the trials I felt I had and ready to face a new day with what seemed to be more energy and vigor. My heart was full for a good portion of the morning and I found myself excited to meet and help the new people in my ever changing client base at the job I was working. Then as intensely as my exciting strength came on a cold anxious feeling came over me. Something did not feel right. I was nervous, my mind was racing and it would not stop to ponder the reason for the feelings I was getting. I felt I needed to call my family. I called the house and an unfamiliar voice answered, strangely I hung up. But again, I felt I needed to call. The same voice answered this time and I realized it was a cousin. Asking why she was there she calmly told me that a terrible accident had occurred and that my Dad was hurt badly. At first I thought he will be ok he will pull through and again the spirit told me what I was to do. As soon as I was off the phone I made immediate arrangements to fly home to Arizona. As we arrived in Phoenix a wonderful family member picked us up and rushed us to the hospital, just in time to sit down with the doctor to learn that my dad would not make it. As he was saying this I was feeling that rush of memories that you always hear about and wonder if you will ever experience. I did not have any children at the time and I asked in prayer how my children would ever know a man I admired and hoped I would be like some day. Again the knowledge came to me, to teach through stories of him, be an example of his love. At that moment I recognized the Savior's love for me. How he suffered for me so that I could be strong in a time like this. I miss my father still and still weep to think that he can not share all the sweet moments our family will have here in this life. I feel his presence in our home and in our lives. I know he loves us and I know he watches over you. He was a kind and gentle man. He was simple and was thankful for everything in his life. He loved everyone and willingly gave service to those around him. He never spoke badly of anyone even those who had wronged him in the past. He was loved by a community of people and his legacy still thrives there as one of honor and commitment to life. He talked often of his love for you even though he had not met you yet. He loved Me and he loved your Dad. He was a good father and took the time to talk with me about my dreams and my goals. He treated me as an equal and raised me with love and respect for anyone I met. Most important he knew his Savior, he followed his example and he was committed to that knowledge. Happy Heaven Day sweet babies. May you look forward to the day you meet your grandpa face to face. I pray you enjoy each day and that you may be able to look back on the memories of your life as if they were yesterday and know with a surety that you did all you could do through out your life.